Before my fiancé proposed to me he told a friend that he was waiting for the moment to feel right. His friend responded “what is the feeling you are waiting for?”. Eventually, Kyle decided to pop the question even in the absence of that warm, fuzzy feeling that society had convinced him he needed to have before making me his bride. Since asking me to be his wife, Kyle and I have, again, gone through a period of waiting for the feeling. We thought that the excitement of our engagement would spark some kind of eternal blaze within us that would only intensify with each moment spent in one another’s company. Now let me be clear, Kyle and I have a very healthy, passionate relationship, be this as it may, we were seeking something that doesn’t exist.
Just like Kyle’s friend had asked him what feeling he was waiting for before he proposed, we had to ask ourselves what feeling we were waiting for now that our relationship had progressed to a higher level of commitment. I suppose the two of us were under the impression that our friends and family would rally around us and the heavens would open up and celebrate our accomplishments. That wasn’t the case.
Our expectations were unrealistic and not totally characteristic of a Christian relationship. A component of our let down was due to our belief that following God’s commandments for a dating couple qualified us for a bounty of praise and adoration. To put it plainly, we in some way deemed ourselves worthy of celebration because of the milestone we achieved and the obedience we exhibited on our way to this point.
Should we have been celebrated? Maybe. Did we do anything spectacular and out of the ordinary to achieve praise and approval from our friends and family? No.
An uncelebrated re-entrance into society as a an engaged couple reminded us that the most important acknowledgement we could ever receive in our newly rebranded relationship was the approval of our Heavenly Father. Knowing that our relationship pleased God and recognizing the importance healthy, God-honoring marriage, we celebrated on our own.
Our friends and family reassured us and we moved forward in our wedding plans without too many wounds from the lack of celebration. All in all, engagement has been a rough reality check, especially in our faith. One of our first lessons in engagement consisted of founding our expectations in Christ. Establishing our relationship’s worth in Jesus and aligning our expectations with his brought clarity to our relationship and soothed the sting of being uncelebrated by friends and family.
Fining our worth in Christ and celebrating with him through all of life’s milestones will be one of the best things Kyle and I will do for our relationship going forward. And I hope something I’ve expressed through these words strikes a chord with you too. I hope you know that your engagements, pregnancies, birthdays, and every celebration in between is celebrated by the Father.
So when the milestones are achieved in life don’t wait for the feeling, instead, rest in the knowledge that the Father celebrates with you. His joy is far greater than any feeling we will experience this side of heaven.